In the game of XEXYZ, you play the part of APOLLO, a miscellaneous man who, according to the back cover, became tired of the rule of the evil GORUZA. So he acquired full-body armor and decided to fight against the evil machines. Now, the machines easily took over XEXYZ because the citizens lacked technology. However, this invasion could have easily been prevented if the good King had taken measures to protect against terrorist acts! It is that kind of negligence which leads to disaster! The king could have easily protected against such forces, as APOLLO has many futuristic weapons available to him, all which are quite damaging to the machines. Something must be going on behind the scenes, here.

These machines come in many sizes, big and small. Regardless of size, they are all very predictable in behavior and they like to make up for this by hanging out in the most annoying places while waiting for you to exit rooms. As you may have guessed, the machines have far too much time on their hands. Here are a few enemies one can expect to face:

NINJA TURTLES

They are villains in a half-shell and they run on turtle power! What evil villainy! They function by walking in the direction of APOLLO and then firing projectiles on occasion. They can only fire these projectiles in two directions. Somehow, I don't remember the Ninja Turtles being so worthless. Not only are they limited to two directions, they have no weapons or martial arts abilities! I don't know about you, but the Ninja Turtles are worthless without the weapons. What would they do? The only skill I have ever seen them demonstrate was that episode where Michelangelo eats an entire pizza slice instantly. That doesn't do well for fighting foot soldiers, my friend.

Gray Helmet Rapist

The Gray Helmet Rapist lives near bath tubs for a very special reason. He lives to ambush and torture women who are taking a bath. This sick and twisted enemy attacks by trying to fly at you with high speeds. He also drops blue things, I won't even get into what those might be. Defeating him results in saving the girl, here is how that typically looks:

The woman is very happy to have been given a "new life", but we all know that things said in NES games have secret hidden meanings. Her text translated into normal english reads something like "Thank you Apollo. You saved me from terrible rape."

Green Helmet Rapist

The Green Helmet Rapist is exactly the same as the Gray version, but it tends to rape small blue faeries instead. It does this by trapping them into small capsules which automatically self destruct upon the rapist's defeat. Not much else can be said concerning the green rapist, other than he charges a lot of money, thus being green. What a greedy fellow.

There are plenty of other enemies, but they are all boring and standard compared to the rape helmets and the ninja turtles. The peaceful characters you will face are also some interesting folks. One of them gives you weapons or items. If you are in a bad mood, you can rip off this guy by entering his house twice and getting a powerup on the weapon he just gave you for free. Apollo sure knows how to get his way with the populace of XEXYZ! Here are some other characters who may or may not be gullible enough to fall for Apollo's trickery.

Frog Man

The frog man lives in his house which has a lot of blue bricks inside. On his chair, he suffers the fate of waiting for Apollo to enter. Then he can offer his service of refilling Apollo's "Energy Level", which is secret code in this game for "Life". The frog man is most easily distinguished by his crazy red lipstick which he applies with all concentration. One time I had Apollo jump onto the frog man's floor and pretended that he and the frog man had a conversation. It went something like this..

"Greetings, Frog man." Apollo had happily exclaimed to the frog man, who was surprised Apollo was even speaking to him with words other than "Yes" or "No".
Flabbergasted, the frog man remained silent and refused to speak ever again, or at least until Apollo re-entered the room.

I don't understand the frog man much, but it must be one of those things in games that we should not even try to comprehend.

While robots are all evil in the way that they rape young girls and blue faeries, some appear to be good. For example, there is a pink robot that likes to play illegal games with Apollo whenever he can. Gambling is not the answer for your needs, kids!

One Happy Illegal Robot!

Anyway, the illegal robot's game involves betting some and choosing one of three boxes. If you choose the right one, you win 100 , a fine amount of to have. Just don't become addicted, as gambling will ruin your life. It is also illegal in many places, but not in XEXYZ where people don't need money anyway. What would you expect from people who do not even have front doors? I don't appreciate instantaneously appearing in a room rather than opening a door first.

At the end of every area, you meet the almighty.

God is alive and well in XEXYZ, so you know religion is a powerful influence in the land. To express his gratitude, God appears at the end of every area and provides Apollo with a flying saucer in which to fight the boss in the "boss's room" where there is no floor. God always appreciates your courage, so be sure to have a lot of it when you come to visit him. Once you defeat the boss in the "boss's room", you are given the beauty of some woman you just saved.

Isn't she a happy woman? Each island has a different one, and man, are they all fine women. They make bringing peace to islands a happy thing. They also allow you to use their CYBORG RIDER to travel to the next Island. What wonderful people those women must be. I am not exactly sure if they are drawn to scale to Apollo. If so, they are very large women!

In the end, which does matter in XEXYZ, Apollo gets married to some woman. He apparently becomes the king of XEXYZ as well. I'm not sure what happened to the old King. He was probably executed for his inability to handle terrorist acts. Serves him right! Apollo is the true warrior of the war on terror.