Even people with terrible illnesses can be heroes. They should try
to avoid crime fighting, though. Captain Novolin fails to take this
advice by fighting unhealthy foods that aliens for some reason decided
to plague the streets with. There must be some sort of symbolism going
on, but I don't care. Here is the thrilling intro for you:
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Damn Aliens and their sugary junk foods. |
After hearing this terrifying news update, Novolin decides that this
is a job for no one other than himself. So he stops walking on his conveyor
belt and suddenly remembers that he is is diabetic and needs to do some
things first. After all that is said and done, Novolin must go to eat
breakfast. In order to do this, he must pick up food off the streets,
such as already open bananas, pies, and other things I can't really
make out. While doing this, he must avoid contact with sugary junk foods.
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A typical level of this humiliating game. |
Captain Novolin is obviously a super hero of skill, as he has no attacks
whatsoever. He is limited only to jumping, which doesn't often work very
well in itself. It seems that rather than dealing with these aliens, Novolin
decided it was much more important to cater to his own health every hour
of the day. Being a diabetic super hero must be hard work if you can do
nothing but jump, and must eat the right things every day. Things you
pick up on the dirty sidewalks, no less.
If you fail to eat your breakfast in time, you will lose a life. Lives are represented by the stupid looking faces on the top right of the screen. I think diabetics are immediately in physical danger if they even touch sugar, because doing so will cause Novolin to lose a chunk of his face. I also think that touching sugar makes diabetic people drunk, because that is what seems to happen to Novolin, for example:
I didn't really try very hard to get very far in this game, because it was making me deathly frightened. I'm pretty sure it was made to condition people to be severely afraid of diabetes, just like how Wisdom tree wants people who attend mass to be fat.
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This could be you! |
This is a bad game which does not teach you about anything at all, except how not to make a game designed to teach you about bad things. Religious games are more educational than this. This game is rated "Mo" for "Morons only"
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