Welcome one and all to the extra creepy super scary review of the Sega Genesis game, "Mary Shelley's Frankenstein"! This is an exciting Genesis game that portrays the more violent side of the Frankenstein monster's life: the part where he goes out into the town and is attacked by lazy men, vase throwing women, and evil communist soldiers! Not only does he have to avoid these terrors, but he also has to operate moving platforms, a service commonly found in the locale the game takes place in!

The game begins with a compelling introduction to the general story of Frankenstein. First it presents us with the mansion where Victor's experiments take place. Note how Victor loves to leave all of his lights on. This is because he pretends to have house parties at all times. Victor truly was a sad man. In any case, we proceed to some sort of ceremony that Victor performs. I guess in order to bring life to the monster, he had to simply turn some levers and look at you strangely for a few seconds. This leads to a frightful vision of the monster's face as it opens its eyes. It's ALIVE!!

Finally the game gives you a chance to start the game on the title screen, but rather than actually presenting you with a story of any sort beyond the previously described material, you are placed directly into town, armed with your powerful stick and rolling capability. I'm not sure what your goal is, because I have never made it past the first area. This is no problem, though, as this first area reveals everything you need to know about the game! An enemies list is in order, my dear friends!

Lazy Pitchfork Men

These lazy bums enjoy walking out of doors and standing in place forever. That is, unless you are within range to be poked gently by their pitchforks. They often assume a crouching position and attempt to stab them some monstrous genitals. This is a life threatening move which usually misses if you stand up straight as demonstrated in that picture. If you are already so frightened by the power of the 'fork, you don't need to worry so much. Just walking away from these guys solves the problem, they absolutely lose the capability to walk once they have attacked you. They're so damn lazy that they figure they should set up camp right there. And since they are so lazy, by "camp" I mean stare stupidly at nothing while a monster rampages through their town. It's tough being a lazy guy.

Vase Droppin' Grandmas

These grandmas hang out at their windows and do their part to kill you by dropping vases on your head. They commonly hide behind the window and use their old lady powers to detect your presence, and then they strike! They actually miss almost every single time, unless you try to get hit by them. Old ladies simply can't be trusted to protect you from monsters that attack your town for no reason.

To make matters worse, any such monster can simple destroy the window shutters and the grandmas won't even try anymore. Such a lack of dedication for protecting yourself is pretty sad. Thankfully the game has no grandpas, I'm sure they aren't any better. It is kind of rude to portray older people as so useless!

Communists

These communist bastards come equipped with a powerful sword, and sometimes sword-shooting guns or something. Unlike the lazy pitchfork men, these guys love to run at you and give you little pokes. Unfortunately, they also decide to sit still forever if you walk away from them. I guess poking at a monster just once is so tiring that communists need to take a breather. An incredibly long one that never ends.

Vase Throwin' Ladies

Much like the grandmas, these ladies throw pottery at you and then try to hide. Unlike the grandmas, these ladies are immortal! Once they have thrown their vase at you, they retreat to a corner and cower. They can never be damaged. I wonder if they are secretly goddesses or some other spirits who are envious at the monster's ability to die. They don't demonstrate powers of supernatural beings, though, since all they do is throw vases.

For the enemies that can die, they usually do this by blowing up, leaving only a cloud of smoke where brave immobile soldiers once stood. What about you, though? What is the fate of the Frankenstein monster if it loses all of its health? Rather than exhausting a lot of smoke and vanishing like typical humans, the monster falls over and you are presented with this chilling game over screen! Truly a depressing end to a rampage through the town.

Oh yeah, this game isn't very good, either. Here's a final screen shot to wrap things up, as usual:

Frank wants to cuddle!