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In my previous post, I said that I was having problems with Google Adwords. I decided that I would create a fake web page about an exciting new robot technology that I wanted to advertise. So I made the campaign as focused as I could on a product named "RobotFriend" which does some cool stuff like shooting lasers and determining your enemies with advanced Artificial Intelligence.
I tried my hardest to keep the page centered on robots, lasers, and protection. My ad campaign's ad text and keywords centered on these specific services that the bot offered. However, my minimum bids were still astronomic (1-5 dollars per click) and there was no hope for any improvement.
I really have no idea what exactly Google's systems are expecting of me. I tried to cover all the bases that they suggested. It is on this sour note that I give up on Adwords' keyword-based service for now. It is an unhelpful system that penalizes you while neglecting to specify why it does so. If your ad campaigns aren't working well, it can become a time-consuming trial to find out why, if you ever do find out. I'll try their site-targeted approach next, but I'm not going to be optimistic about it for now.
For entertainment purposes, here was my RobotFriend landing page.
Introducing
the newest technology has to offer! The latest in home security! It's
RoboFriend, the ultimate companion in life and living!
Greetings
compatriots. I am here to offer you one of the finest products the
lands will ever have to offer. Yes sir, I am talking about those
exciting things known as Robots! Did you know that Robots are
no longer a “futuristic” technology? It is true! Technological advances
and time travel have allowed me, Eric Curzi, to bring the comfort of
robotics to your home! You may be thinking, “Eric Curzi you are a
moron, shut up you silly goose,” but I guarantee you will face extreme
satisfaction with my powerful RobotFriend brand robots!
The RobotFriend is
able to do a great many things to serve you. Have you ever wanted to
jump off a plane without a parachute while simultaneously cooking a
gourmet meal? TheRobotFriend will jump off with you and act as your
own personal stove as you fall to your death! Maybe if you cook a huge
turkey, it can break your fall, but you'll probably die anyway.
How
about those deadly bums and gangsters who walk the city streets? The
RobotFriend can protect you in these dire times of need! You will be
amazed as the RobotFriend walks ahead of you to question the motives of would-be assailants. You will be even more impressed as it uses complex artificial intelligence algorithms to determine the threat level of your enemy. If the person is truly an enemy, watch out as the RobotFriend fires a powerful laser to vaporize the opposition within seconds! Who needs guns when you can have an intelligent personal assistant like this? Warning:
RobotFriend's sensors may incorrectly label you a threat to yourself
and destroy you without warning, even if you are sleeping. We offer no
insurance or warranty if this situation arises.
The RobotFriend's artificial intelligence is so advanced that it can even adapt to your career and hobbies. It honestly wants to help you out! And to do that, it will relentlessly tell you what you do wrong. You could be the most sophisticated and perfect artist in the world and the RobotFriend will be there to keep your ego down! All for the purpose of being as helpful to you as possible. Warning: RobotFriend may shoot its lasers to destroy your arts and crafts.
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