There are many skills necessary to be a good soccer player. Such as kicking a ball around at insanely fast speeds, flying fifty feet in the air, and setting the ball on fire to make it knock people out dangerously. All of these things are beyond me, but I certainly have an appreciation for these things regardless. There is one thing that some soccer players and even their coaches are not good at, however. And that is speaking. Let me show you some of their atrocious words.

The real question here is: How he got so bad at the speakings? My only explanation is that he is so awed by the other guy that his language facilities were completely obliterated. To many matters worse, after this he says "for sure we will lose." Now you are probably wondering what kind of amazing man would stun a person's brain so long as to make him say such things, and thankfully I have the answer for you. It is an amazing guy named SHINT. Now, you are probably thinking that SHINT is so amazing that he can speak english, right? Well, let's see about that.

You were wrong! That is a picture of SHINT complaining that he is too low on HP to make a power shot. It seems that being low on HP forces you into cave man language mode. We all know that cave men are smart people, but it is undeniable that being low on HP sets a soccer player back a few billion years. This leads me to wonder if normal humans would also become cave men if we lost too much HP. We have been safely relying on evolving for the past few thousands of years, and as a result of such evolution we have gained more HP and can speak better. But I fear there is a HP leak somewhere in humanity. You don't have to go far in our world today to see that language is gradually dying. Kids these days can barely form a coherent sentence, and having them write more than two sentences in a row is often asking for disaster. I think it is obvious that scientists need to stop being so damn lazy and find a way to replenish our HP before it is too late.

This picture proves the source of our soccer-language dilemma. It is here that we are introduced to JOAN, who is a soccer coach specializing in making people "grow." It wasn't until a few years ago that I even knew that a single man could make anyone grow, so I have no choice but to trust that JOAN is a very effective source of growth potential. While JOAN may be good at growing people, he also transfers to them the BAD LANGUAGE. Yeah, I can see soccer as an art, but the language certainly isn't an art to JOAN. For shame!

Oh no.. OH NO!!!! My language...skills....going away... no more talk good... pictsures take away talk good skills like sponj.....help....

Oh the Jesus. I can not talk great no more because the players of the soccer have broken me language talking and I cannot no longer talk like good talker. I wonder if I ever get good talking ever again? Me hopes this is not permanent forever situation! I am the ruined man if I not forever talk good once again. I word writing man you know, so if I not good talker I can't right the good stuff and become good authorer. If I can't do the author work I bad at life and ultimate loser. I think it is the time to possibly commit thet suicide because I no longer can take this talk badly skill. I probably won't end in the Heaven cause I write bad stuffs about the God. I will be the meat lunch of THE SATAN instead. I am super sorry, peoples. Good bye.

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