I feel like I've woken up from a terrible dream. In this dream, I fell through an endless corridor, and there were a lot of orange cats hanging off the sides. As my falling body fell through, they were clawing at me terribly, and I died from my injuries. It was completely awful.

You know, before I say anything at all about the comic, I want to address something very important. It has to do with this “Bill Watterson” guy. Yeah, I'm bringing him into this, I'm summoning mister “GARFIELD IS CONSISTENT!!”

What's your problem, Watterson? Consistent? WRONG! Garfield is the most dynamic comic out there. I don't need jerks like you telling me that the Garfield comics never change. They change tremendously, my friend! No wait, you aren't my friend. I'm no friend to someone who bad mouths Garfield. What makes you think you have the right to speak badly about MY Garfield, huh? You probably think you're some sort of important water deity prince or whatever since your surname implies that you're the son of water. Well, let me tell you something, Watterson. You're a deity of nothing in my book.

You and your god damn Calvin & Hobbes, you think you're some sort of comics god because you didn't sell out. You're jealous, you're just jealous of Jim Davis. Old Jim's been in the comics longer than you ever will be, and his cat is still here long after your psychological six year old eternal child boy and his imaginary stuffed tiger. You're like “ohh I am some sort of moral man, I don't want to sell the soul of my comic!” and I think that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life. You'll never have Davis' success and I hate you, you foolish landscape painting subhuman, go paint your giodo damn trees I don't want to ever see you again! God I miam angry at the meere thought of you.

Okay, I'm sorry. I have to keep my anger in control. I can't just be bad mouthing my enemies here. But let me just say that you're on my list, Watterson. You'd better keep up this hermit life of yours, because it's going to be war if you say something bad about Garfield again. Now onto the Garfield comic goodness.

This comic is funny because Odie is a dog. Notice how the couch is suddenly much closer to the television in the last panel. This is because Odie likes the All-Dog channel so much that he pushed the couch closer. Imagine that, a dog liking a channel about dogs so much that he would push a couch very slightly forward. Isn't that just grand? Someone kill me now, I beg of you.

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