My apologies, but I probably won't be updating this page much anymore. Not that I was really posting very often in the first place.

Most of my time is going to go to Meeki and Braya, where I do regular updates at least two times a week. I may post some other things here on occasion, but don't count on it happening much.

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Hello friends, my name is Perfect Paul

I am here to tell you that the term webisode is an extremely bad term. It is filled with garbage, sort of like an unflushed toilet. God, I hate that term. If you disagree with me, you are extremely foolish and deserving of death!

Here is the phrase "webisode sucks stupid shit!!" filtered through texto. It is better:

 The dryer mercilessly sells to the white sign.  I wash pink boxs near the dense wet sky.  Sometimes, shoes question behind closed ellars, unless they're white.  Never learn eerily while you're buying hrough a weak candle.  We fully buy around squishy wooden stables.  
While dogs finally ski, the clouds often smile on the powerful shirts. Other dry pink arrows will restrain quietly with arrows. Going below a ocean with a unit is often old.

In conclusion, webisode is shit.

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In my previous post, I said that I was having problems with Google Adwords. I decided that I would create a fake web page about an exciting new robot technology that I wanted to advertise. So I made the campaign as focused as I could on a product named "RobotFriend" which does some cool stuff like shooting lasers and determining your enemies with advanced Artificial Intelligence.

I tried my hardest to keep the page centered on robots, lasers, and protection. My ad campaign's ad text and keywords centered on these specific services that the bot offered. However, my minimum bids were still astronomic (1-5 dollars per click) and there was no hope for any improvement.

I really have no idea what exactly Google's systems are expecting of me. I tried to cover all the bases that they suggested. It is on this sour note that I give up on Adwords' keyword-based service for now. It is an unhelpful system that penalizes you while neglecting to specify why it does so. If your ad campaigns aren't working well, it can become a time-consuming trial to find out why, if you ever do find out. I'll try their site-targeted approach next, but I'm not going to be optimistic about it for now.

For entertainment purposes, here was my RobotFriend landing page.

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Greetings friends. Once again, Paul here to distribute another fine reading of a fine cutting-edge fanfiction by Doctor John Ragbrain. I won't bother you with details, just listen to this good stuff right away! Leave comments on it at fanfiction.net.

(Or download it as an mp3)

Text:

Solid Snake's Escape By Dr. John Ragbrain

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello! This work of fiction is being posted using the pen name "J. Ragbrain PhD"! You may notice that this is a different pen name from the other pen name, "Dr. John Ragbrain", which I, Dr. John Ragbrain, have previously used to post works of fiction on this website! This is because the negative responses to my previous works of fiction caused me such grief that I was forced to withdraw from the fiction-writing community for several years, as well as adopting a terrible habit of alcoholism! The habit is terrible because it is injurious to my health and relationships in the way that alcoholism is generally injurious to health and relationships! Luckily I am now recovering and have found the strength to write this fine work for the enjoyment of my readers! I am consuming a cherry-flavored popsicle to aid me in this endeavor!

Chapter 1: The Infiltration

One day Solid Snake was infiltrating some sort of establishment which was owned and operated by an organization which was dedicated to performing various military actions! The military actions were of the type that threatened to have unpleasant effects on members of the general populace, particularly those members of the general populace residing in the United States of America! Solid Snake did not approve of such actions, and he had set out to put a stop to them, using his own formidable military skills as well as the formidable skills of his good friend, Otacon. The skills of his good friend, Otacon, chiefly involved doing various things with computers!

As Solid Snake began to infiltrate the establishment which was mentioned earlier in this story, he began to communicate with Otacon using a communications device! Otacon claimed that it was necessary for Solid Snake to move through the establishment in a manner which would cause him to avoid detection by the humans operating the establishment! Snake did this with a high degree of success for some time, but was suddenly apprehended by a masked man! Snake was unable to determine the identity of the masked man because of the mask which was being worn by him! However, having apprehended Solid Snake, the man removed his mask to reveal that his identity was that of Raiden, Solid Snake's good friend!

Raiden informed Solid Snake that he was very angry! While giving Snake this information, Raiden spoke in a very silly voice, causing Snake to be amused. However, Snake did not have much time to be amused, as he rapidly discovered that Raiden was punching him in the face repeatedly, as well as slicing deeply into his abdomen using a sword! Solid Snake was dismayed, and attempted to apply bandages to his wounds while asking Raiden the reason for his anger! He did not find much success in the application of the bandages, due to the fact that Raiden continued to attack him wildly! Eventually Solid Snake lost consciousness!

when Solid Snake regained consciousness, he discovered that he was in a room with several men! One of the men was Raiden! Raiden regarded Solid Snake in a manner suggesting anger! Additionally the other men present also regarded Solid Snake in a manner suggesting anger! Solid Snake conjectured that this was because they were angry. In addition he believed that the men may wish to cause him bodily harm! Reacting to this possibility, Solid Snake wielded guns and utilized the guns to propel bullets toward the men! The men sustained injuries due to the impact of the bullets against their bodies, allowing Snake to run rapidly out of the room and through another part of the establishment which he was in!

Before Snake was able to run very far, he suddenly tripped and fell onto the ground! This did not seem as if it would be highly problematic for him, since he would easily be able to get up off of the ground again! However, as he impacted the ground, he experienced a terrible pain in his eye! Solid Snake realized that this pain was because of a stone which had been on the ground and had flown completely through his eye due to the impact of his fall! Solid Snake began shouting as large amounts of blood poured from his eye and onto the ground! The result of this latter occurrence was that the ground gained a red coloration!

Solid Snake lifted himself off the ground in spite of the great pain which he was experiencing at the time! During the subsequent period of time in which Snake continued to run away, this pain increased at a rapid rate! The reason for the increase in pain was that Snake's eye had become infected with bacteria! These bacteria had mutated at an extreme rate, causing them to eat away at the flesh of Snake's face with a terrible speed! Solid Snake's face was quickly transformed into a ruinous, bloody pulp! Despite this, he continued to run away in desperation as Raiden's angry voice echoed behind him, saying: "I am angry, Solid Snake!"

TO BE CONTINUED...

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Greetings friends everywhere, Perfect Paul here! Since I am the best guy and a nice person, I am excited to have successfully conducted a negotiation between a number of talented individuals. You will find extreme benefit as a result. I've been friends with Adult Male #3 as well as Doctor John Ragbrain for a long time. Adult Male #3 is an avid fan of Ragbrain's work and has wanted to get into a career of commercial reading. I figured that I would give him an opportunity by downloading a story of Ragbrain's from this terrible website. I also convinced the Quality Quartet to provide some excellent music for the recording. Here's how it went:

(Or download it as an mp3) 

And if you want to read along, here are the words.

Evilman's Revenge
by Dr. John Ragbrain

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Evilman is highly evil!

Chapter 1: Evilman's Machine

While walking through a strange forest, Fei encountered a man! Additionally Fei was being accompanied by some other people! During conversation with the strange man, it quickly turned out that he was evil, and wished to take revenge on Fei. This resulted in a great battle, the likes of which you have never seen. I am sure of this because I know that you have not really seen any great battles in your lifetime!

Once the battle subsided, the evil man explained that he was evil. This did not come as a surprise to Fei and friends because, as I said, it was already evident that the man was evil! He also said that his name was "Evilman," which was good because Fei and friends did not know this before, because the evil man had not said his name. Now that they knew that his name was Evilman, they could converse with him more conveniently by addressing him with the name "Evilman!" Delighted at this, Fei suddenly smashed into a tree which collapsed and revealed a great cavern underneath!

Fei and friends jumped into the cavern for some reason, but were quickly pursued by Evilman! Evilman was shouting that he was very evil and that he was going to kill them. Fei and his party were not afraid of this, because they were aware that Evilman's threats were empty! Evilman was really not very powerful at all, but he suddenly began to build a great machine which would make him powerful! Fei and friends continued running through the cavern, but Evilman is a great inventor and quickly perfected his machine to make himself powerful! Using this machine, he was able to harness great power the likes of which you have never seen! I know this because I know that you have not really seen any high degree of power in your lifetime!

At any rate, Evilman, empowered by his machine, quickly began following Fei again and shouting that he would kill Fei! This time Fei was very frightened, because he knew about Evilman's evil machine! Evilman, using his evil powers, quickly caught up to Fei and his friends, who were now terrified and were begging for mercy! Evilman was so evil that he did not give them any mercy, and shot them with guns! This was possible because the evil machine had given Evilman the power to generate guns out of nowhere! The guns were very large and had large bullets!

Fei fortunately had a powerful shield which deflected the bullets! Evilman was hit by the bullets which were deflected at him! Since he was so powerful due to his evil machine which made him powerful, he did not sustain any damage from the bullets! Fei was very impressed and frightened by this turn of events, so he started running away again! He ran into a wall, but he did not dare to turn around, as Evilman was behind him in hot pursuit! Instead, he picked up a shovel and began digging into the wall! The shovel had been left there by an ancient civilization! You will not learn about the ancient civilization in this story!

Fei happily learned that the ocean was very nearby and his digging resulted in some of the ocean spilling into the cavern! This was good because he knew that Evilman could not swim! Fei quickly inflated an inflatable boat and felt triumphant as he floated upon the flooding water! Suddenly Evilman summoned a great water ghoul that destroyed Fei's boat and dragged him into the water! Additionally it also dragged Fei's comrades into the water with him! It turned out that Evilman's evil powers, granted by his evil machine, had allowed him to stay underwater without drowning! Fei did not have evil powers, and was therefore drowning at an alarming rate!

TO BE CONTINUED...

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